We Object to Our Objectification!

Sometimes, if not most of the time, it can get pretty irritating to watch video vixens act like brainless toys behind both male and female artistes. They are as plentiful and as easily disposable as the confetti sprinkled everywhere when the piñata is struck by swarms of children during a five year old's birthday party. Eventually one has to change the channel to avoid getting sick.

This objectification of women is so blatant and pervasive that it has become a normal phenomenon of everyday life. It even leads women to become so preoccupied with their physical appearances and sexual value to others.

 

Women's bodies, body parts, or sexual functions are isolated from their whole and complex beings and treated as objects simply to be looked at, coveted or touched. I used to think that only women who dressed as 'whorish' as video vixens were the ones who could be prey to such treatment. Alas, my eyes opened when someone sent me a text message that 'Mr. Man' (whom I have mentioned in a previous post), had written to him. 

In the message, 'Mr. Man' boasted about his sexual prowess in relation to me and drove his point home by making statements like: 'Everyone knows nau, how don't you know?' 'Ah, I have even done this one or that one.' It became so excruciating to read that I started to cry. It seemed like it wasn't even me that was being talked about. It sounded like he was talking about a trophy that he received, one that he even seemed to have received easily for that matter. It hit me hard that I had been relegated to the level of some kind of game that 'Mr. Man’ could eagerly boast about after moving up higher levels. Maybe that was not the case, but I chose not to speak to him after that.

 

Some of us may have had a similar experience, while some others have experienced this in different forms. One common form in which our bodies are overly sexualised is the imposition of dress codes that emphasize covering up our bodies in order not to distract the opposite sex. Think about it. These dress codes keep emphasizing that our bodies are things to be coveted or touched.

At what point does the school administration realize that it may have hired the wrong staff when the male staff start to complain that they are made uncomfortable by catching a glimpse of the knees and waists of fifteen year old girls? 

Nobody is denying that sexual attraction is natural but if girls are still found sexually attractive enough to be groped by classmates in their uniforms that look like potato sacks, then does it really have anything to do with their dressing? 

How can some people open their mouths to say that our armpits or shoulders arouse boys then go ahead to make us change our behaviors and dressing to adapt to supposedly 'uncontrollable' desires of the male sex? Have we now become mannequins that simply exist for people to gaze at?

 

Imagine walking down the road and the man catcalling you and asking for your number is only seeing you as a pair of boobs and butt cheeks. Disgusting right?

That’s not all , we are bombarded with sexy cleavage in ads and magazines but when those same breasts are feeding suckling babies, people (they know themselves) are disgusted by them because they think that the display of a woman's body is good until it's no longer for their pleasure.

Objectification is so preoccupied with a Trans woman's genitals that it defines her solely based on her body parts and not her chosen identity.

 

This objectification is so normalized that we would even be surprised (but relieved) that not a single woman is used as a sexy background accessory in a music video. 

Also, some people call make-up 'false advertisement.' Since when did women become products 'ejo'?

 

Some people paint femininity as something that only functions to attract men. Even during school social nights when we see junior babes really going all out, we are all quick to snicker, 'Who are they even dressing up for sef, who is looking at them?'

 

When a girl wants to wear that lace bra and thong and also shave, must it be because she wants to look good for a boy? That might be the case in some circumstances, but not always. Nevertheless, that’s the common assumption. As if she can't look nice for herself.

 

It is only natural to find someone physically attractive but there is a thin line between admiration and objectification. If one asks his/her self this question: 'Do I see this person just as a way of self/sexual gratification or do I appreciate them beyond my own personal pleasure?' and the answer points to the former, then one has officially objectified the other person in question.

 

Now to the one that confuses me the most, and that is very sensitive to approach-- the matter of religion. After all my years of knowing the Ten Commandments, it was not until recently that I took a second glance at the tenth one which instructs us not to covet our neighbor's property. I almost fainted when I saw 'wife' listed among donkeys, oxen etc. as property. Anyway we operate on a new covenant right?

 

Religion, in my opinion, is meant to do good and not oppress but some people use it as an excuse to choke out other people's happiness. For instance, some Christians do not believe in the existence of marital rape because once you are married to someone they own your body. We all know that this notion puts some women at the risk of domestic violence and marital rape. Because if someone is your property, you can literally do as you please  with them. For some reason, another human is considered property to be coveted. Pretty crazy.

Thankfully, God is not monstrous and has also given provisions to control man's excesses. For example, the bible instructs men not to lust after women and for husbands to treat their wives with love and respect. It also reminds us that all humans are one in Christ.

 Even the Qur’an makes provisions for the humanity (and not the objectification) of women when it preaches that a relationship between a man and a woman is based on tranquility, unconditional love, tenderness, protection, encouragement, peace, kindness, comfort, justice and mercy.

Yes, there may be misogynistic aspects of these religious books but humans just choose to pick out what they want and use it to their advantage. I am no priest or Imam, but I'm sure those instructions are simple enough for everyone to decode.