What Girls Want

First and foremost, girls want to have fun. We want to be able to go to parties in our shortest and skimpiest dresses or in our flowing dresses without being called whorish or prudish. We want to eat to our hearts content. We definitely want a lot of money (and should be willing to work for it). We want to be able to have a drink without worrying if someone might have drugged our drink while we went to use the restroom. We want to be able to leave parties late at night without needing to have male friends escort us back home. We don’t want to have to say ‘I have a boyfriend,’ before that boy finally releases his grip.

Isn’t it ridiculous that that boy respects somebody else who he is not even a hundred percent sure exists and not someone who is standing right in front of him and clearly looks and sounds uncomfortable? 

For goodness’ sake, girls want to be comfortable in their own skin. We do not care if you prefer us with or without our makeup on. We do not want to feel like we have to hide our stretch marks. Girls do not want to be ashamed of their weight (or mass?). We do not want to read a magazine with forty pages on how to lose weight. One page will do for anyone that is interested. Girls do not want to be shamed into eating less or more.

In case you were not aware, girls can have huge birthmarks on their faces, vitiligo, pimples, scars, pubic hair, body hair, and nose hair and them choosing to be comfortable with any of that, does not make them sub-human. Choosing to be uncomfortable with those and deciding to wear makeup or undergo plastic surgery to make themselves more comfortable does not make them superficial. 

We want to have our voices heard on the playground, in the classrooms, at home, through art, through writing and on the internet. We want to be able to sit in places of power and deliberate about our own bodies concerning reproductive rights. We want to be able to talk about vagina, vulvae, ovulation, sexuality, periods and yeast infections in the open without any awkwardness. We want to be able to ask the ‘stupid’ questions in Math and Science classes without being made fun of.

We want the basic things. We want access to clean water. We want to go to school. We do not want to be genitally mutilated. We do not want to be trafficked. We want you to understand that marriage, cooking and motherhood are not for all of us. We want to be loved and valued. We want to be recognized for our achievements. We want good vibes. We do not want you to convince us to say ‘yes’ after we have already told you ‘no.’ We want to be able to take a walk at night and get back home safely.  We do not want to be violated. Saying that someone is ‘acting like a woman’ should no longer be an insult. Are all these too much to ask?

We do not want to have to buy overpriced sanitary pads or have to resort to rags and tissue paper or skip school and sporting activities because we cannot afford overpriced sanitary pads. Wouldn’t it be so nice if every pack of sanitary pads, tampons, menstrual cups etc. comes with a little gift inside. Like one of those stickers or tattoos that were put in chewing gum wrappers that would wash off after a while. The stickers would have stuff like ‘Yass queen!’ and ‘Cannot wait till the last day.'

Girls do not want to be asked, ‘brains or beauty?’ It is not a dichotomy so let us stop acting like it is. We certainly would not mind if you ask us about what we like to do and what we want to become rather than mostly teasing us about boys when you come for a visit. Save the boy talk for later. Variety is the spice of life, isn’t it?

Girls want sex education. Girls need to know that not everybody bleeds the first time they have sex and it is unlikely that the hymen ever really breaks and that knowing the truth about our bodies is liberating.

Girls want to live their lives according to their own rules and standards. Period.

Personally, I want good vibes and good news this Valentine's day. What do you want?