'I'm Not Like Other Girls.'

About two years ago I attended a week-long summer camp and became friends with this boy I would like to call 'Mr. Hilarious.' He seemed to be very popular with people and people seemed to swarm around him too.  

 About two days to the end of that year's camp, we had movie night and I happened to be sitting beside 'Mr. Hilarious.' I sensed that there was something bothering him or something that he needed to get off his chest so I wasn't too surprised when he said he had something to tell me. My eye balls were already set in motion to be rolled before he blurted out, 'I like you.' Calmly, I turned to him and asked him why he liked me seeing as we had only known each other for about five days. To my greatest annoyance, Mr. Hilarious cheekily said,' Because you are not like other girls.' At that point, I couldn't help but roll my eyes and think to myself, 'How many other girls has he told this to.' Then 'Mr. Hilarious' went on to say that he liked the fact that I confidently wore my low-cut everywhere and I did not put make-up on at all and I related with everybody(Normal things that enough of us do). I don't even remember how the rest of that night unfolded, but don't worry, 'Mr. Hilarious' and I are still acquaintances. In another time and day, I might have felt flattered by that supposed 'compliment,' but by then, I knew better than to fall into that trap.

 

Unfortunately, there are still enough of us that go on to emphasize that they are not 'like other girls,' and further tear other women down rather than lift them up. Many girls see other fellow girls as threats rather than allies. They insult the girl in the 'whorish' looking dress, or the other girl that 'thinks she is too fine' or even the one that is too quiet because she thinks that she is 'better than everyone else.' Even in pop culture, the women at the top are always made to compete with each other. We hear arguments like: 'Is Cardi B taking Nicki Minaj's place?' 'Is Rihanna or Beyoncé the queen of hip-hop?' as if there is only space for one woman at the top. These notions are further fueled by the feuds in the entertainment industry. Don't get me wrong-competition can be a good thing but only when it is healthy.

 

Some of us turn our backs on other girls and even find it hard to trust other girls and encourage them in their victories. Some girls brag about their friendship with boys or men and act as if their friendship with girls is less rewarding. What enough girls don't realize when they proudly claim that they are not like other girls is that they are throwing knives and stones at different versions of womanhood and femininity everywhere. They are implying that the expression of femininity is negative. It is like shoving every other girl under a truck then riding that truck all over them to reach your destination.

 

What enough girls don't hear as they speak is the reverberating contradiction. If every single girl chants the hymn of 'I'm not like other girls,' who exactly are these 'other girls?' To make that statement is to internalize a contempt for women and say, 'Yes, those other girls are awful, but I'm special.' To make such an uninformed statement is to promote misogyny and shaming of girls and women for their various choices and interests.

 

If you think about it, those 'other girls' that we think we are referring to are the media's depiction of what girls should be. Well, Very few of us are like those depictions. 'Pop culture wants to tell us that we are all shallow, backstabbing, appearance-obsessed shopaholics without a thought in our heads beyond cute boys and cuter handbags. It's a flat-out lie-and we need to recognize it and say so instead of accepting that judgement as true for other girls, but not for you.' (Claudia Gray)

 

Instead of contradicting each other, pulling each other down and validating tainted depictions of femininity and women in general, as 'Les Femmes Libres,' we should vote women that run for office into power; genuinely compliment each other and give each other shout-outs; support women-run businesses; show appreciation to the women in our lives; keep a girl in school;  get rid of unconscious bias; help to mentor younger girls and women;prioritize relationship building that will help us to share our struggles and vulnerabilities with one another and finally, we should be proud to be women!